Taking On The Shower

There's nothing like a nice refreshing shower, right? Maybe for you that stands true. For me, it's been a nightmare for a while now. There's just something about that dagone showerhead! It's not getting the shower that is the issue in mind, but it's about seeing the water spraying out before getting in and the initial hitting of the water.             

I hate feeling unclean. No other yucky feeling like it. I really don't mind getting dirt on me or even car/truck grease, (as long as I can wash it off as soon as I'm done playing in the dirt or doing whatever w/my vehichle),but, of course NO FOOD on my fingers or hands. Crossing that bridge later. Anyways,
when I turn the shower on (it has the standard showerhead), I feel agitated and anxious when I open the curtain to get in and I see the spraying water. I swear that water is not streaming out evenly. I can see it and once I've talked myself into conquer stepping in, the initial hit of the water on me , I feel like screaming angrily because I can feel the un-evenness (sp?) of the water. After the first several seconds (which can feel like minutes) pass, I feel just peachy and proceed with my shower, no problemo.

For those who have never experienced water phobias or even "little" water issues, to those of us who have and/or do, this can be excruciating, nauseating, and make a person want to whip out their temper for protection from these emotions. (Note: I speak for me, for some people, BUT NOT ALL who have these phobias and/or issues.)

I've tried to understand "Why?" this bothers me so incredibly much, or at all. I have sat in thought, going back to my childhood even, and I have found nothing "in hiding" that brings me to this place with the shower. Thinking how this makes no sense at all to me, I went back again still to find nothing in the past that leads to this point.

So, here I am presenting this and already have begun working on overcoming taking on tackling the process of stepping in the shower. I started about a week and a half ago working at it using positive self-talk in order to coach myself in thinking more optimistic about it. Then, someone of credentials suggested "taking the bull by the horns" by not allowing myself the time to think about it; just turn on the water, set the temp, get ready, and get right in. Easier said than done AND slowly proving to be of great help and use. I thought about buying and installing a showerhead that has the "swirly" water setting and putting it on that mode to stay; that way I can't tell whether or not it's uneven since there are no straight streams. I decided against it. Why spend money on something like that just to mask or keep from dealing with the underlying unknown.

I've decided that I  am determmined that this darn "bull" is not going to wrestle me (myself) around like this anymore. So, the plan is shower two times a day- morning and night, Everyday, until this practice, practice, practice of boldy stepping in has created a new nueral pathway that is clear and makes it easy as apple pie to get in the shower.  Yes, I will tackle this and victor. I'll keep an update on this one.

Peace